hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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