omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
