do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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