Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize