I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
