That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
