i already hear my dad disowning me
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
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