Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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