hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
