Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
