he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
