Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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