I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
What drink are we having for lunch?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
