He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
