I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
