You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just tell him i said nine months
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
