So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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