You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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