i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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