The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
