You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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