Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
