I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
