just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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