So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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