He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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