Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
