Just fell off a train. Bad.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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