He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
