I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
