I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
