You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
