we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
