please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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