last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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