he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
