Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
