But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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