i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
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Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
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i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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