Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
