Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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