i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
