i'm signing you up for texting rehab
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I want her autograph on my taint
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
