If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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