Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize