i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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