You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
