woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize