I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Found your dick twin last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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