I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
