In the future we'll all be gay
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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