So drunk its hurt
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
