what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
