Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
