if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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