i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
