thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
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Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize