He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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