i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
