Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
