That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I skipped work to stalk him.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
