it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
