brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
