If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
