You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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