Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
