Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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