hell yes lets make some ravioli
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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