I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
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