Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
